There was an article in the Star yesterday talking about marriage and in-laws (can't remember who was the author but I enjoyed reading it nonetheless). She talked about how when we marry someone, we marry more than just him.
This is so true. From my own personal experience, I've definetely got more than what I bargained for when I married Hootie. Now that Hootie is sick, I have to deal with a lot more.
One of the things that was mentioned in the article is when in-laws start dictating one's family life. It's rather iritating but yes, it does happen in our society. My personal favourite is when they give you hand-me-downs. I do have few instances of this. For example, once I saw a really nice knife (but rather pricey) at Parkson and I mentioned to Hootie that I would like to buy it. To my horror, Hootie mentioned it to his parents and dad dearie said that "No need to waste money, we have ample of knives, you can take one or two". I mean, not that I'm not grateful but I would love to spoil myself once in a while.
Back to Hootie's condition, the emotional "trauma" is beyond Hootie being sick. I can handle him sick but what I can't handle is the whole in-laws situation thing. There are many instances where I suggested something, my in-laws will just ignored them. But the moment a relative mentioned the same thing that I've mentioned 20 times over, dad and mum will act on it. The best would be when the extended family member seems to know better than the doctors. In the beginning, these instances really get to me (for those who are close to me, you know what I mean). But as the days go by, I'm beginning to handle the situation better. I normally lash out my anger to really, really close friends, b*%^h about the whole situation to them until I feel better.
I guess, at the end of the day, fighting with your in laws is definitely a waste of energy. You know that it is a losing battle. So, would suggest you channel the energy to something more useful. Not only you'll be saving your relationship with your in-laws, you'll see that there is more to life than trying to win silly arguments.
This is so true. From my own personal experience, I've definetely got more than what I bargained for when I married Hootie. Now that Hootie is sick, I have to deal with a lot more.
One of the things that was mentioned in the article is when in-laws start dictating one's family life. It's rather iritating but yes, it does happen in our society. My personal favourite is when they give you hand-me-downs. I do have few instances of this. For example, once I saw a really nice knife (but rather pricey) at Parkson and I mentioned to Hootie that I would like to buy it. To my horror, Hootie mentioned it to his parents and dad dearie said that "No need to waste money, we have ample of knives, you can take one or two". I mean, not that I'm not grateful but I would love to spoil myself once in a while.
Back to Hootie's condition, the emotional "trauma" is beyond Hootie being sick. I can handle him sick but what I can't handle is the whole in-laws situation thing. There are many instances where I suggested something, my in-laws will just ignored them. But the moment a relative mentioned the same thing that I've mentioned 20 times over, dad and mum will act on it. The best would be when the extended family member seems to know better than the doctors. In the beginning, these instances really get to me (for those who are close to me, you know what I mean). But as the days go by, I'm beginning to handle the situation better. I normally lash out my anger to really, really close friends, b*%^h about the whole situation to them until I feel better.
I guess, at the end of the day, fighting with your in laws is definitely a waste of energy. You know that it is a losing battle. So, would suggest you channel the energy to something more useful. Not only you'll be saving your relationship with your in-laws, you'll see that there is more to life than trying to win silly arguments.
2 comments:
yup.. truly understand how u feel..
especially when our suggestions fall into deaf ears.. sakit ati..
nonetheless.. better not waste your energy fretting for this.
tuh laaa now the saying once you get married you are married to the whole clan come to senses. being young blooded often we lose our temper quite easily & at times 'their' doing doesn't make sense at times. abaden its them and there's no way we could change it. so nak tak nak masuk kanan kuar kiri jek laa as long as both party happy ya udah. raya camne ini taun? u r always welcome to klang jgn malu2 kay
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