Happy Eid ul-Fitr

Raya is just around the corner and madame is definitely in Raya mood already (well, actually more of a holiday mood and knowing that I'll be free as a bird after Raya). To all my friends, Happy Eid ul-Fitr.

Somehow I can't help reflecting how Raya this year will be. Of course, I'm bersyukur to no ends that Hootie is around to celebrate Raya, regardless of his state. But somehow Raya is not the same when you have a sick person to look after.

Saying that, I had my first taste of Raya with in-laws last year. And all I can say is that the culture is definitely different compared to mine.

I've been brought up in a family where Raya is the time where close family members get together and have a jolly good time. On Raya eve, everyone will get together at Tok Mat's family retreat and start preparing for Raya. My mother is a true believer in preparing things herself, so all the food are home made and all the baju kurungs are hand sewn by her. Raya morning is like a war zone. Straight after Subuh prayers, everyone must be up (or face the death penalty) and get ready for Raya prayers and visit to the GrandParents grave. After prayers, there will be a big raya do, where all of the Tok Mat clan will sit together, enjoy good food, ask for forgiveness, exchange Duit Raya and followed by family photos of respective families. We normally end this tradition with now leaving in a convoy to visit extended family members (ie the second cousins, third cousins and everyone else in life who are related to us).

Coming back to Hootie's family, my first Raya with them didn't leave me with a pretty picture. I had the shock of my life when I arrived at the InLaws and everyone is still sleeping. Yes, I was early (I was there at 7.30 am) but it's raya morning and to them it's as if it was just another holiday. Instead of the Raya morning rush that I normally had to go through, it was a rather quiet Raya morning, where it was just Dad, Hootie and myself going for sembahyang raya. And the real shocker was when I arrived home from Raya prayers and finding them still sleeping. I couldn't handle it anymore so I just told Hootie that I want to go see my family instead.

I guess, what I'm trying to get at is that every family have their own values. I know a few families that take holiday trips during Raya, leaving extended families behind and enjoying themselves elsewhere.

I find this sad because Raya is the only time that family members get together and catch up. I always get rather slushy around this time of the year. I fail to understand what sort of values are they teaching their young ones when they decided to go on holiday instead of visiting relatives. I know a few people who doesn't really know who are their cousins or how their cousins look like. No matter how modern one is, certain family traditions and values should be kept. I mean, there's 365 days in a year, can't you spare even 1 day visiting extended family members?

At the end of the day, I guess it is up to each individual on how they see Raya. To me, it's a time where I just want to be with my family members and surround myself with familiar faces, good food and great entertainment. I can take a trip to Bali at anytime of the year but family gatherings are always priceless.

Lock, stock and definitely more than 2 smoking barrels

There was an article in the Star yesterday talking about marriage and in-laws (can't remember who was the author but I enjoyed reading it nonetheless). She talked about how when we marry someone, we marry more than just him.

This is so true. From my own personal experience, I've definetely got more than what I bargained for when I married Hootie. Now that Hootie is sick, I have to deal with a lot more.

One of the things that was mentioned in the article is when in-laws start dictating one's family life. It's rather iritating but yes, it does happen in our society. My personal favourite is when they give you hand-me-downs. I do have few instances of this. For example, once I saw a really nice knife (but rather pricey) at Parkson and I mentioned to Hootie that I would like to buy it. To my horror, Hootie mentioned it to his parents and dad dearie said that "No need to waste money, we have ample of knives, you can take one or two". I mean, not that I'm not grateful but I would love to spoil myself once in a while.

Back to Hootie's condition, the emotional "trauma" is beyond Hootie being sick. I can handle him sick but what I can't handle is the whole in-laws situation thing. There are many instances where I suggested something, my in-laws will just ignored them. But the moment a relative mentioned the same thing that I've mentioned 20 times over, dad and mum will act on it. The best would be when the extended family member seems to know better than the doctors. In the beginning, these instances really get to me (for those who are close to me, you know what I mean). But as the days go by, I'm beginning to handle the situation better. I normally lash out my anger to really, really close friends, b*%^h about the whole situation to them until I feel better.

I guess, at the end of the day, fighting with your in laws is definitely a waste of energy. You know that it is a losing battle. So, would suggest you channel the energy to something more useful. Not only you'll be saving your relationship with your in-laws, you'll see that there is more to life than trying to win silly arguments.

Catching up with technology

I know, I know... Should have gotten a modem ages ago but hey, who's complaining?

Finally, I've gotten myself a laptop and a broadband connection (well, actually, I've gotten the laptop months ago, just never got round to getting myself connected). The intention is to enable myselft to stay connected to the world regardless where I am and blog more often (yeah right, we shall see!). Don't have to rely on limited office connection.

Well, things are looking rather rosy for Hootie. I'm slowly starting him on a soft solid diet such as porridge, jelly, baby food etc. He still can't move (ie bed ridden) but can move his right hand and right leg. He can drink water out of a cup now as well. He talks clearer and he definitely knows what he wants. However, most of the time we ask him to write what he wants.

Work wise, rather busy of late. Like I said before, when it rains, it pours. The manager at Kenanga is really taking advantge of my last few days there. I have to circulars to issue before I leave my mark in the investment banking world. Sad, but yes, my days are numbered. The worst part is, I have not left but already thinking of a come back. I guess, the blood of an investment banker is rather thick in me.

It has been a week or so of puasa but preparation this year is rather little. I mean, with Hootie's condition and all. But mummy deareast is kind enough to sew me a pair of baju kurung (and of course, material courtesy of mummy deareast as well). The Family is spending raya at the new pad and mummy dearest have also commanded that the rest of the Extended Family spend raya there as well (and by command I mean, she instructed everyone to come, no excuses).

Well, got to get back to work. Still have a few things to settle before I go, but it has never stopped me from leaving early before. Till then... Have a good Ramadhan ahead.